Best Pick-up Lines--Page Three 

 

 

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I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

Hi my name is(your name), did I mention I have a penis?

Oh my God! I think I love you!

Do you wanna lick my tongue?

Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?

Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length of thepenis is six inches, the average female received two hundred and sixteen inches or fifteen feet per intercourse. Three times per week, fifty two weeks in a year, so, 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just over half a mile. If you're not getting your mile and a half, why not let me help out?

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?

Do you want to hear some over-rehearsed, cliched cheesy lines, or do you just want to do it?

May I pleasure you with my tongue?

I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.

So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.

Happy hour's over, here, but it's still going strong at my place.

I am a magical being, take off your bra.

Are you gay? (No.) Wow, me neither, let's have sex.

I'd like to make love to you in a brand new limousine. I've got the number for the dealership.

Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. In the short time we have remaining, I'd like to make your world spin with such passion that you won't notice the end of the world.

(With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.

Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here.

As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!

Bond. James Bond.

 

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together.

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.

I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

Him: I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Him: Well then, please start.

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

I s there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

My lenses turn dark in the sunlight of your smile.

Please help! I don't know how I got here, but I've been sleepwalking. You're a dream.

Stand still so I can pick you up!

Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!

What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle.

Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?

Wow.

You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.

You must be a hell of a thief 'cause you stole my heart from across the room.

Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.

Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.

Ask a woman for the time. "10:30? So today is July xx,xxxx, at 10:30 pm. Thanks. I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."

"Pinch me." "Why?" "You're so fine I must be dreaming.

Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!

Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics i would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing which will win you an all expense paid date with me.

You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.

 

Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.

You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.

Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!

You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!

If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".

(person walks in, and you say:) And out of nowhere comes the sunshine!!

When I marry you, I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.

If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.

Go Away. (drives men crazy with desire.)

I'm wearing Revlon colourstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?

Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that its a really big river, and the bunny on this side (doesn't matter) really needs to get to the other side. Ask how he does it. Give cute little answers as to why the bunny can't cross the river (ie...bunny jump in river, bunny go *glubglubglub*.) When the person finally asks how the bunny is supposed to get across, give them the cute puppy eyes and say "I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand."

Do you remeber Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizzard Blue.

Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?

Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?

Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.

I'm drunk.

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Would you like to see me naked ??

You know what I like about you? My arms.

Are my undies showing? Answer:"No." You:"Would you like them to?

I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?

I'm not actually this tall, I'm sitting on my wallet.

Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?

Buy me a beer, will ya hon?

You look like my mommy. I like my mommy.

What the hell are you looking at?

Do you have a name or can I call you mine?

Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?

Were you staring at my crotch?

Can I impregnate you with my Demon spawn?

Like Motel 6, I'll leave the light on for you.

 

Can I flirt with you?

Can I please be your slave tonight?

Can I see your tan lines?

Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!

Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.

Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.

Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got a lifetime.

Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?

Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?

God must be in a VERY good mood today. Just look who He brought into my life.

I had a friend who used to hand out phone cards that said: "Smile if you want to sleep with me." And watch them try to hold back their laughter.

I wonder what our children will look like.

I've got a condom with your name on it.

If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?

Lie down. I think I love you.

Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!

Picture this, you, me, a bubble bath, and a bottle of champagne.

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.

So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.

What do you like for breakfast?

Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?

Would you like to have morning coffee with me?

You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.

Hi. Can I domesticate you?

"Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" Woman: "What's that?" You: "This conversation, lets pick it up, please?"

You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, storages?

 

Well, I don't even own a car.

Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.

My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.

HI! Can I buy you a car?

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