Real-life Dates from
Dating is hard and we all find
ourselves stuck in ruts from time to time. It helps to know you're
not alone. If you need to feel better about your current situation,
take a moment to chuckle at these Worst Dates Ever and see how your
nightmare scenarios stack up.
Dating can be hard. Sometimes we get
into little ruts where none of our dates seem to go well. You should
take heart in the fact that these plateaus are temporary. Time just
feels like it's moving glacially.
So, if you need to feel better about
what currently may be a lackluster dating life, have a laugh at my
expense as you check out my worst dates ever. Think you've had a bad
date lately? Check these babies out.
The evening starts out really well. She
is pretty, she is smart and she is drinking doubles so fast that I
can't keep up.
In fact, she is getting so sloppy drunk
that I have to cast aside my natural instinct (to run far away) and
stick it out just to make sure that she gets home safely.
As I suggest that maybe it's time for
us to leave the bar, she says that she wants a nightcap. 'What's one
more drink?' I think as I head to get her a brandy. When I return,
she immediately gets up, and then comes back a few moments later with
a scotch. When I ask her which drink she is going to consume first,
she silently pours the scotch into the brandy and takes a sip -- a
simple answer to a question I guess she doesn't feel the need to
The rest of the date goes like
She tries to sneak her drink out of the
She drops the drink on the sidewalk
She yells at me after I tell her not to
worry about it
She pulls me into the cab with her
after I say that I need to get home
She gives the cab driver the wrong
directions to her house
She slaps the cab driver for telling
her "where she lives"
She tells me in no uncertain terms that
I am spending the night with her
She swears very loudly as the cab pulls
away from her door with me in it
"It's too cold to go out" are the first
words she says to me in person. Normally I like to say "Hello," but I
play along and say that "Yes the winter has been really
We sit down at a good table, then get
up and move to a table that she thinks is better, then get up and
move again after she decides that she doesn't want to sit next to a
She orders a vodka
Our waiter tells us they're out of
cranberry juice. "How the hell do you run out of cranberry juice?"
she asks and then looks at me wide-eyed like I might be just as
perplexed about the situation as she apparently is.
"I guess they just served it all... and
ran out" I say, a little embarrassed that our waiter might think that
I'm just as pissed off as my companion.
She hates her job because it's beneath
her. She hates her family for not supporting her. She hates her
ex-boyfriend for meeting someone else after they broke up. She hates
my choice of restaurant too -- I've never seen a lack of cranberry
juice spawn such bitterness before.
She tells me that I probably think that
I'm better than her because I'm a musician and that I should "grow up
and get a job."
I just shut up and listen to her
incessant complaints all night long. She's right about one thing
though: I do think that I'm better than her. In fact, I think most
She is a little older than her picture
led me to believe, but still quite pretty.
The initial conversation is nothing out
of the ordinary. Perhaps it's a little awkward, but hey, we've only
just met. Then it suddenly gets really interesting when she tells me
that she routinely "talks to angels." I'm looking for a smile on her
face, but all the air gets let out of my expectations when I see that
she is completely serious.
"What do you talk about with the, um,
angels?" I probe gamely.
"Oh... everything." She replies. "Like
if I don't know what to wear that day, I'll ask the
I guess that's what happens when you
live alone and can't ask your roommate if you look OK.
She proceeds to tell me that I need to
"work on my relationship with God." Now, I would never begrudge
anyone his or her faith, but the fact that I never mentioned my
relationship with God up to that point made me wonder how she could
jump to that conclusion.
I ask for the bill while we're still
eating and make a very prompt exit.
Next time I have trouble deciding what
to wear, I'll know whose opinion to ask.
Of course, we've all had bad dates. The
odds of dating say that we have to have a few. But remember that for
every bad date you go on, you'll probably have 10 good ones. The
trick is to persevere, keep your sense of humor, hope the next one
goes better and save up those bad date stories to entertain your
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