8 Signs They're High Maintenance

By Kelly Jones

 

 

Strutting about town with a gorgeous date on your arm can feel like a million bucks. But if that beauty runs salon-deep and is paired with an obsessive desire for the best of everything, it can cost you a small fortune -- not to mention make you feel a little rough around the edges by comparison.

 

Before committing to a high-maintenance guy or girl, consider the following.

 

Spontaneous Combustion

 

Rustic cottage getaways, picnics in the park, back-woods camping, traveling beyond the walls of the Caribbean resort -- these kinds of exciting, romantic escapes don't exist in the worlds of high-maintenance people. The expression "If it's yellow let it mellow..." means nothing to them. And spontaneity, that bonding impulsiveness that can turn a so-so night on the town into a lifetime memory, applies only to shopping, as in, "Which gold card should I use today?"

 

Holier Than Thou

 

If your man instinctively screeches for help at the sight of a spider on the laundry room floor or your woman refuses to take out the recycling box to save her French-manicured nails, your lover is probably high maintenance. This "precious" attitude suggests they believe that they're a class above you and shouldn't have to stoop to such banal tasks. Are you prepared to sign off on all the menial -- sometimes icky -- tasks all by yourself?

 

Pets' Pets

 

High-maintenance men and women aren't necessarily dog and cat people in the traditional sense, but many of them do own a pet -- usually some small, yapping nervous thing that is happier tucked under an arm like a Gucci purse or man-bag than running free on the ground with other animals. And those that do indulge in making accessories of our furry friends (think Paris Hilton) tote the damn things everywhere they go. You may ask yourself, 'Am I willing to do their stooping-and-scooping for the rest of my days?' ( Or better, are you willing to be with someone who thinks it's OK to have an animal be an accessory? - Ed )

 

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

 

Would your princess rather wear a bag on her head than no makeup at all -- even to the grocery store? Does your man spend hours at the gym toning his mist-on tanned pecks or use more hair product than you do? You don't really need me to tell you what you already know: you're partnered with a peacock. We all strive to date singles who put some effort into their appearances (clean... good; stinky... bad), but we also want them to be comfortable hanging out in lounge clothes with a newspaper on a Sunday afternoon. And be comfortable with us doing the same.

 

Honey Money

 

In this world, there are savers and spenders. High-maintenance hotties qualify as the worst kind of spenders: they not only dole out dollars for indulgences for themselves (especially on beauty products, spa treatments and high fashion items), they also expect you to contribute to their lavish lifestyle. If credit cards count more than courting, you may have a high-maintenance lover on your hands.

 

Living in a Material World

 

There's a difference between saying "You look hot" and "That's a sexy shirt." High-maintenance singles tend to focus more on the details of others' appearances rather than overall style. Pointing out the luxuries of the car you're driving rather than the trip you're embarking on, asking which salon you went to rather than complimenting your new hairdo, taking notice of the threadcount of your sheets rather than your naked body lying on top of them exemplify the overall attitude of a high-maintenance date.

 

First Contact

 

Think back and ask yourself, "Where did I meet this person?" If you first laid eyes on them at the spa, salon, or the beauty counter -- in other words, their natural habitats -- there's likely no denying you've got a high-maintenance hottie on your hands.

 

Me, Myself and I -- Who Are They?

 

If you find yourself frequently wanting to ask, "What about my needs?," but are too worried about the wrath those words would bring upon you and all your unborn children now and until the end of time, you can likely count yourself as whipped by a high-maintenance lover. High-maintenance folks tend to be self-centered and self-serving, lopsiding relationships and leaving lovers unsatisfied.

 

 

 

Armed with these tips from the pros, your dating game just got a whole lot smoother, sleeker and sexier. Game on.

 

 

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