Try to look at this
endeavor not as a prospective husband/wife hunt but as an effort to
make a lot of friends, and I mean good friends. Friends that you can
laugh aloud with, friends who make you laugh. Not everyone can make
us laugh, and when I say laugh, I am not referring to some comedian.
We are talking about friends here.
It really does pay to
have a lot of friends. It makes ones life richer. The best thing
about friends is that you can be yourself with them. And they too can
be themselves with you. And that means letting it all out. We must
remember that apart from being the dutiful husband or wife, your
spouse should be your best friend as well.
That is one mistake
that most couples make. They tend to look upon their friends and
their spouses as separate. While it is perfectly ok to have your own
friends, your best friend should always be your husband or wife.
It should be someone
you can share your dreams and fears with, someone who understands,
someone who can give your hand a gentle squeeze when things go wrong
and someone who can brighten up your darkest day.
All this is a very far
cry from sex right? That is why we did mention earlier that looks and
sex should be the last criteria in the selection of a life partner.
The marriage proposal must come as a natural sequence and it should
by no means be the first thing that comes out as soon as you warm up
to a person. You cannot very well say something like, "hey, you know
what, I think we have the same tastes so let's get
You can say that of
course but it would not be in very good taste. So what do you do if
you discover that one of the friends that you made and the one who
you were keeping your fingers crossed about is already
Do you have a car? Then
the answer is simple, just run over that person's spouse and remove
the unwanted element, right? Wrong! It is just not done. You can
still be friends with that person and shift your attention towards
another direction. Who knows, you might even find a better person.
All you have to do is shuffle your cards and deal them out again.
I hope you have got the
hang of what we meant by working backwards now? Good. There is
another catch involved in this process. There is a chance that one of
the friends that you made may have read this book too and maybe the
proposal may come from the other end. If it does, then well and good;
for it saves you the ritual.
Mr. Right and Ms. Wrong
But then, what if the
person who proposes to you wasn't really what you had in mind? Well,
the choice is yours of course; you can take it or leave it. But there
is a point worth considering over here. If we can find someone that
we love that is good, but if we find some one who loves us, isn't
But I would also like
to add a word over here. Suppose some one does come and propose to
you but unfortunately, you are not in the least interested? You have
every right to turn the proposal down but please do it gracefully.
There is no need to hurt the other person's ego. This person is
obviously a friend of yours, and surely you care deeply for them.
However, if you know that you cannot marry this person, a turned-down
proposal is better than a divorce. Try to explain your feelings in
the gentlest way possible