Step 4: Meeting Face To
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Romantic at Heart
Once you have started
talking over the telephone, then the relationship has already taken
wings, then is no reason to postpone a direct meeting. So what are we
waiting for? But wait; there is no need to push it. You should not
sound over anxious to meet this girl or guy.
Let the decision to
meet evolve over a number of telephone calls. And there are certain
things that you can bear in mind before you really meet.
It is not advisable to
invite someone home before you have really met the person. You had
better choose a public place preferably somewhere where there are
plenty of people around, just in case, you know.
That is why most
couples prefer to meet in a restaurant over lunch or dinner. There is
one thing about having food together. When people sit together and
have food together they get to know a lot about each other.
Table manners tell us a
lot about a person's upbringing and background and you can learn a
lot about a person by observing him or her eat. The second thing is
that warm food has a wonderful effect on the human mind. It releases
all those digestive juices and sets the tongue wagging. People loosen
up a lot, especially after a glass of wine or two.
The first mistake that
most people make is that they go under the wrong impression that a
meeting, even the first meeting must end up in bed. No, it does not
have to be so.
There is no compulsion
on your part or anyone's part that you have to take the person home
with you. Just because you enjoy talking or chatting with a person it
does not necessarily mean that you have to sleep with the person. Let
that too evolve, so it is best to keep any such situations that might
lead to a bed room scene completely at bay.
So how do you do that?
The first thing you should do is that you should be clear about the
time. Evenings are tricky times to meet. If you have dinner together,
then there comes the possibility of dropping the other person home.
And of course you can't
just accept a ride and walk away after being dropped without inviting
the other person in. And then one thing will lead to the other and
then the inevitable is bound to happen. Of course, if that's the way
you would like it to be then you just have to do what I just told you
not to do.
Lunch time is the best
time because in the day time most of us are busy with work and we can
just spare an hour or a half for lunch. So you can always leave on
the pretext that you have to get back to work or something like that.
Very few people end up going home together after lunch. Another thing
is that at lunch the element of romance does not really come
Take care to be at the
arranged spot on time, you certainly do not want to keep a person you
are meeting for the first time waiting. Dress appropriately for the
occasion, keep it simple but at the same time it should be something
that looks good on you.
Leaving Your Mark
Now, suppose this date
did work out as planned and you really and thoroughly enjoyed the
company of the other person you would want the other person to
remember you and think about you, wouldn't you? So how do you make
sure that the other person does think about you?
The answer is simple.
Just leave your mark behind. Mind you, a business or visiting card is
not appropriate here. It lends a very formal color to the picture.
Surely you do not want the person to remember you for your
credentials or your designation. Something more personalized would be
Put your artistic and
creative talents into full gear. If you are poetic, you could pen
down a few lines on a small card and hand it to the person. Mind you,
the lines should not be about the person, but about general topics
like friendship, relationships, togetherness, warmth, or meetings.
But do the writing in advance and keep it for the right moment. Do
not try to write a poem on a paper napkin with the person sitting in
front of you!
If you can't write
poetry, maybe you could get some dried flowers and stick them onto a
card and copy down the lines of somebody else, but admit that the
lines are not your to the person.
Keep such a token with
you and wait for the right moment. Just before you part, if you are
sure that "this is the one" then hand it over to the person with a
very shy expression on your face and a timid, "I made this for you…"
Believe me, it's miles better to say "I made this for you" than "I
bought this for you"
So what happens if you
are not too sure that you want to see this person again? Well keep it
with you itself and save it for the next person.
If the person is the
right person, and if you did hand the person this personalized token,
the person is sure to think of you in a much fonder way.
Clothes Maketh A Man
You do not have to be
dressed to kill when you go out to lunch. The best thing about lunch
dates is that most of would be in our work clothes and that saves us
the agony of choosing the right thing to wear on a first date.
A wonderful thing that
you could do when going on a fist date is to make it a group
activity, preferably a foursome. This takes away the awkwardness of
the situation and definitely takes away all those embarrassing
moments of silence.
A group has another
advantage in that lesser attention will be focused on each other so
that there is less stress and as a result both partners would be more
relaxed. It is also safer too, since there is safety in numbers.
But the company to be
included should be mutually agreeable and not be thrust upon the
other person. But take care to avoid any person who you know to be a
chatter box; it takes all the fun away if one person dominates the
You may drink if you
want to, but do not drink too much on your first date. Not only is it
in bad taste but when you are drunk, you might blurt out something
which you didn't mean to and that might ruin every thing.